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Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
Mort Sahl
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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Half
Shore
President
Foot
Next
Fifty
Night
Thirty
Kind
Throw
Kissinger
Way
Mets
Nixon
Would
Feet
Drowning
Guy
Rope
More quotes by Mort Sahl
The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
Mort Sahl
I don't think fascism is dying for.
Mort Sahl
Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
Mort Sahl
Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl
If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
Mort Sahl
I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
Mort Sahl
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl
There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Mort Sahl
I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.
Mort Sahl
Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl
This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides sometimes there are a hundred.
Mort Sahl
I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl
Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl