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Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
Mort Sahl
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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Guy
Rope
Half
Shore
President
Foot
Next
Fifty
Night
Thirty
Kind
Throw
Kissinger
Way
Mets
Nixon
Would
Feet
Drowning
More quotes by Mort Sahl
If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
Mort Sahl
I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl
I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
Mort Sahl
The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
Mort Sahl
Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
Mort Sahl
Obama is running again for spite.
Mort Sahl
Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl
Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl
A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
Mort Sahl
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
Mort Sahl
I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?
Mort Sahl
I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
Mort Sahl
The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.
Mort Sahl
Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
Mort Sahl
Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl