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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
Mort Sahl
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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Jewish
Gis
Forty
Jock
Sex
Forties
Girl
Jocks
Black
Fifties
Sixties
Seventies
Sixty
More quotes by Mort Sahl
I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
Mort Sahl
If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
I don't think fascism is dying for.
Mort Sahl
That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl
I found people looked better when they laughed
Mort Sahl
I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl
There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.
Mort Sahl
We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl
Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?
Mort Sahl
There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
Mort Sahl
Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.
Mort Sahl
I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
Mort Sahl
Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
Mort Sahl
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
Mort Sahl
You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl