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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
Mort Sahl
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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Sex
Forties
Girl
Jocks
Black
Fifties
Sixties
Seventies
Sixty
Jewish
Gis
Forty
Jock
More quotes by Mort Sahl
Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl
Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
Mort Sahl
That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl
New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
Mort Sahl
Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?
Mort Sahl
Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl
I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Mort Sahl
I found people looked better when they laughed
Mort Sahl
I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl
Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl
I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
Mort Sahl
I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
Mort Sahl
I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
Mort Sahl
If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl