Quote

If you can't join them, beat them.

Mort Sahl

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Join
Beat
Beats

More quotes by Mort Sahl

Image
I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl
Image
We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl
Image
I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
Mort Sahl
Image
I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
Image
If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
Mort Sahl
Image
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
Image
If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
Image
New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
Mort Sahl
Image
You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl
Image
Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
Mort Sahl
Image
Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
Image
There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
Mort Sahl
Image
Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
Image
Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.
Mort Sahl
Image
Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
Mort Sahl
Image
There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
Mort Sahl
Image
If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
Image
Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl
Image
Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
Mort Sahl
Image
I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
Mort Sahl