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If you can't join them, beat them.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
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More quotes by Mort Sahl

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I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
Mort Sahl
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We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
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I found people looked better when they laughed
Mort Sahl
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
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I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
Mort Sahl
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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
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I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!
Mort Sahl
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Obama is running again for spite.
Mort Sahl
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Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl
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Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?
Mort Sahl
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I don't think fascism is dying for.
Mort Sahl
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl
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If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
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I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
Mort Sahl
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I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl
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You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl
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A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
Mort Sahl