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There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
People
Guys
Colonies
Clinton
Jefferson
Millions
Darwin
Four
Colony
Guy
Franklin
Wrong
Draw
American
Draws
Two
Million
Dole

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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Obama is running again for spite.
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I don't think fascism is dying for.
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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
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I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!
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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
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Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
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There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.
Mort Sahl
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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl
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Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
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The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
Mort Sahl
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Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
Mort Sahl
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl
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That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl
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We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl
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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
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A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
Mort Sahl
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A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
Mort Sahl
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl