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A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Reformation
Believes
Reform
Conservative
Someone
Believe

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl
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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
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Obama is running again for spite.
Mort Sahl
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I don't think fascism is dying for.
Mort Sahl
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Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.
Mort Sahl
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We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl
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I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
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Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
Mort Sahl
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You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl
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I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
Mort Sahl
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I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl
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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
Mort Sahl
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If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
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That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl
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Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
Mort Sahl
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My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl