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You haven't lived until you've died in California

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Lived
Inspiration
Funny
Stewardship
California
Havens
Haven
Died

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
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I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
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If you can't join them, beat them.
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I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
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If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
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This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides sometimes there are a hundred.
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Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
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Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
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Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
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There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
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One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.
Mort Sahl
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There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
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My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
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I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl