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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Marriage
Broken
Wells
Well
Children
Would
Except

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl
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There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Mort Sahl
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You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl
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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
Mort Sahl
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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl
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I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
Mort Sahl
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I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
Mort Sahl
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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
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The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
Mort Sahl
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Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.
Mort Sahl
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
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I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!
Mort Sahl
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Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?
Mort Sahl
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A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
Mort Sahl
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That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl
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One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.
Mort Sahl
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl
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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
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New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
Mort Sahl