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The Founders were right all along, but the results are a lot funnier than they intended.

Molly Ivins

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Molly Ivins
Age: 62 †
Born: 1944
Born: August 30
Died: 2007
Died: January 31
Columnist
Journalist
Writer
Monterey
California
Results
Right
Funnier
Founders
Intended
Along

More quotes by Molly Ivins

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I think provincialism is an endemic characteristic with mankind, I think everybody everywhere is provincial, but it is particularly striking with Texans, and we tend to be very Texcentric.
Molly Ivins
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And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me.
Molly Ivins
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As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.
Molly Ivins
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Sometimes I think Texas exists as a reality check for those who might wander too far toward the precious.
Molly Ivins
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Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don't much care for.
Molly Ivins
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I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point--race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything.
Molly Ivins
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Although a life-long fashion dropout, I have absorbed enough by reading Harper's Bazaar while waiting at the dentist's to have grasped that the purpose of fashion is to make A Statement. My own modest Statement, discerned by true cognoscenti, is, Woman Who Wears Clothes So She Won't Be Naked.
Molly Ivins
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It's hard to convince people that you're killing them for their own good.
Molly Ivins
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It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.
Molly Ivins
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We often seem to be swimming through such a miasma of sexual violence - in advertising, television programming, heavy metal, rap, films, and worst of all, in the home - that even First Amendment absolutists sometimes daydream about how nice it would be to have government-as-nanny just outlaw all this effluent.
Molly Ivins
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Behind a smoke screen of high-profile female appointees and soothing slogans, George W. Bush is waging war on women.
Molly Ivins
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Texas is not a civilized place. Texans shoot one another a lot. They also knife, razor, and stomp one another to death with some frequency. And they fight in bars all the time.
Molly Ivins
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Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.
Molly Ivins
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Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant - it tends to get worse.
Molly Ivins
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Texas is a fine place for men and dogs, but hell on women and horses.
Molly Ivins
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Either we figure out how to keep corporate cash out of the political system or we lose the democracy.
Molly Ivins
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I know: Guns Don't Kill People. But I suspect that they have something to do with it. If you point your finger at someone and say, Bang, bang, you're dead, not much actually happens.
Molly Ivins
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On a personal note: I have contracted an outstanding case of breast cancer, from which I intend to recover. I don't need get-well cards, but I would like the beloved women readers to do something for me: Go. Get. The. Damn. Mammogram. Done.
Molly Ivins
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I used to go on college campuses 25 years ago and announce I was a feminist, and people thought it meant I believed in free love and was available for a quick hop in the sack. ... Now I go on college campuses and say I'm a feminist, and half of them think it means I'm a lesbian. How'd we get from there to here without passing Go?
Molly Ivins
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I think most of us become nicer as we get older, less judgmental, less full of certitude life tends to knock a few corners of us as we go through. Cancer, divorce, teenagers, and other plagues make us give up on expecting ourselves - or life - to be perfect, which is a real relief.
Molly Ivins