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I know vegetarians don't like to hear this, but God made an awful lot of land that's good for nothing but grazing.
Molly Ivins
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Molly Ivins
Age: 62 †
Born: 1944
Born: August 30
Died: 2007
Died: January 31
Columnist
Journalist
Writer
Monterey
California
Nothing
Made
Vegetarians
Good
Grazing
Like
Vegetarianism
Vegetarian
Awful
Hear
Land
More quotes by Molly Ivins
Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair’s-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?
Molly Ivins
Every two years, one of the most hotly contested elections in Texas is the poll taken among members of the capitol press corps to determine who are actually the ten stupidest members of the Legislature. Two years ago, there were thirty-seven official nominees and several write-ins.
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Texas is a fine place for men and dogs, but hell on women and horses.
Molly Ivins
My friend Mercedes Pena made me get in touch with my emotions just before I had a breast cut off. Just as I suspected, they were awful. How do you Latinas do this all the time in touch with your emotions? I asked her. That's why we take siestas, she replied.
Molly Ivins
You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to.
Molly Ivins
Although a life-long fashion dropout, I have absorbed enough by reading Harper's Bazaar while waiting at the dentist's to have grasped that the purpose of fashion is to make A Statement. My own modest Statement, discerned by true cognoscenti, is, Woman Who Wears Clothes So She Won't Be Naked.
Molly Ivins
Whenever you hear a politician carry on about what a mess the schools are, be aware that you are looking at the culprit.
Molly Ivins
It's hard to convince people that you're killing them for their own good.
Molly Ivins
We often seem to be swimming through such a miasma of sexual violence - in advertising, television programming, heavy metal, rap, films, and worst of all, in the home - that even First Amendment absolutists sometimes daydream about how nice it would be to have government-as-nanny just outlaw all this effluent.
Molly Ivins
Conservatives are fond of pointing out there are problems in this world can't be solved by throwing money at them. There are even more that can't be solved by dropping bombs on them.
Molly Ivins
What you need is sustained outrage...there's far too much unthinking respect given to authority.
Molly Ivins
As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.
Molly Ivins
In city rooms and in the bars where newspeople drink, you can find out what's going on. You can't find it in the papers.
Molly Ivins
...you could have knocked me over with Michael Huffington's brain.
Molly Ivins
I think provincialism is an endemic characteristic with mankind, I think everybody everywhere is provincial, but it is particularly striking with Texans, and we tend to be very Texcentric.
Molly Ivins
Conservatives have been mad at the Supreme Court since it decided to desegregate the schools in 1954 and seen fit to blame the federal bench for everything that has happened since then that they don't like.
Molly Ivins
How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion.
Molly Ivins
And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me.
Molly Ivins
Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented.
Molly Ivins
Calling George Bush shallow is like calling a dwarf short.
Molly Ivins