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He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Molly Ivins

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Molly Ivins
Age: 62 †
Born: 1944
Born: August 30
Died: 2007
Died: January 31
Columnist
Journalist
Writer
Monterey
California
Keyhole
Keyholes
Sarcastic
Minded
Narrow
Eyes
Eye

More quotes by Molly Ivins

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Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman
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What you need is sustained outrage...there's far too much unthinking respect given to authority.
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How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion.
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You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to.
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I used to go on college campuses 25 years ago and announce I was a feminist, and people thought it meant I believed in free love and was available for a quick hop in the sack. ... Now I go on college campuses and say I'm a feminist, and half of them think it means I'm a lesbian. How'd we get from there to here without passing Go?
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It's hard to argue against cynics - they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side.
Molly Ivins
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Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don't much care for.
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As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.
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It's hard to convince people that you're killing them for their own good.
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In city rooms and in the bars where newspeople drink, you can find out what's going on. You can't find it in the papers.
Molly Ivins
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As for George Bush of Kennebunkport, Maine- personally I think he's further evidence that the Great Scriptwriter in the Sky has an overdeveloped sense of irony.
Molly Ivins
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Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful.
Molly Ivins
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You could probably prove, by judicious use of logarithms and congruent triangles, that real life is a lot more like soap opera than most people will admit.
Molly Ivins
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Conservatives are fond of pointing out there are problems in this world can't be solved by throwing money at them. There are even more that can't be solved by dropping bombs on them.
Molly Ivins
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Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant - it tends to get worse.
Molly Ivins
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Texas is not a civilized place. Texans shoot one another a lot. They also knife, razor, and stomp one another to death with some frequency. And they fight in bars all the time.
Molly Ivins
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Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair’s-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?
Molly Ivins
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Although a life-long fashion dropout, I have absorbed enough by reading Harper's Bazaar while waiting at the dentist's to have grasped that the purpose of fashion is to make A Statement. My own modest Statement, discerned by true cognoscenti, is, Woman Who Wears Clothes So She Won't Be Naked.
Molly Ivins
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Texas is a fine place for men and dogs, but hell on women and horses.
Molly Ivins
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Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.
Molly Ivins