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Some days, I'd feel better with Punxsutawney Phil in the Oval Office - at least he doesn't lie about the weather.

Molly Ivins

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Molly Ivins
Age: 62 †
Born: 1944
Born: August 30
Died: 2007
Died: January 31
Columnist
Journalist
Writer
Monterey
California
Days
Lying
Doesn
Better
Phil
Feel
Oval
Feels
Weather
Office
Least

More quotes by Molly Ivins

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It's hard to convince people that you're killing them for their own good.
Molly Ivins
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We often seem to be swimming through such a miasma of sexual violence - in advertising, television programming, heavy metal, rap, films, and worst of all, in the home - that even First Amendment absolutists sometimes daydream about how nice it would be to have government-as-nanny just outlaw all this effluent.
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In city rooms and in the bars where newspeople drink, you can find out what's going on. You can't find it in the papers.
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Americans are not getting screwed by the Republican Party. They're getting screwed by the large corporations that bought and own the Republican Party.
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the more a body tries to explode all the foolish myths that have grown up about Texas by telling the truth, the more a body will wind up adding to the mythology.
Molly Ivins
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...you could have knocked me over with Michael Huffington's brain.
Molly Ivins
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I know: Guns Don't Kill People. But I suspect that they have something to do with it. If you point your finger at someone and say, Bang, bang, you're dead, not much actually happens.
Molly Ivins
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I still believe in Hope - mostly because there's no such place as Fingers Crossed, Arkansas.
Molly Ivins
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The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.
Molly Ivins
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Manners are just a formal expression of how you treat people.
Molly Ivins
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The advantage of being able to identify sin is that you can go out and do it, and enjoy it.
Molly Ivins
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Conservatives are fond of pointing out there are problems in this world can't be solved by throwing money at them. There are even more that can't be solved by dropping bombs on them.
Molly Ivins
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Whenever you hear a politician carry on about what a mess the schools are, be aware that you are looking at the culprit.
Molly Ivins
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Although a life-long fashion dropout, I have absorbed enough by reading Harper's Bazaar while waiting at the dentist's to have grasped that the purpose of fashion is to make A Statement. My own modest Statement, discerned by true cognoscenti, is, Woman Who Wears Clothes So She Won't Be Naked.
Molly Ivins
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Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented.
Molly Ivins
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Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair’s-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?
Molly Ivins
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The first rule of holes: When you're in one stop digging.
Molly Ivins
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So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.
Molly Ivins
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You could probably prove, by judicious use of logarithms and congruent triangles, that real life is a lot more like soap opera than most people will admit.
Molly Ivins
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How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion.
Molly Ivins