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As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.

Molly Ivins

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Molly Ivins
Age: 62 †
Born: 1944
Born: August 30
Died: 2007
Died: January 31
Columnist
Journalist
Writer
Monterey
California
Drink
Whiskey
Politics
Screws
Money
Ems
Political
Texas
Around
Belong
Women
Anyway
Take
Vote
Screw
Office
Legislature

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We've had trickle down economics in the country for ten years now, and most of us aren't even damp yet.
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The thing is this: You got to have fun while you're fightin' for freedom, 'cause you don't always win.
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no one has ever accused Texas of being in the vanguard of social progress. This is the most macho state in the U.S. of A. By lore, legend, and fact, Texas is 'hell' on women and horses.
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The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.
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It's hard to convince people that you're killing them for their own good.
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Of course, it has never paid much.
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Although a life-long fashion dropout, I have absorbed enough by reading Harper's Bazaar while waiting at the dentist's to have grasped that the purpose of fashion is to make A Statement. My own modest Statement, discerned by true cognoscenti, is, Woman Who Wears Clothes So She Won't Be Naked.
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The first rule of holes: When you're in one stop digging.
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Whenever you hear a politician carry on about what a mess the schools are, be aware that you are looking at the culprit.
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Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair’s-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?
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Many a time freedom has been rolled back - and always for the same sorry reason: fear.
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On a personal note: I have contracted an outstanding case of breast cancer, from which I intend to recover. I don't need get-well cards, but I would like the beloved women readers to do something for me: Go. Get. The. Damn. Mammogram. Done.
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Conservatives are fond of pointing out there are problems in this world can't be solved by throwing money at them. There are even more that can't be solved by dropping bombs on them.
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Conservatives have been mad at the Supreme Court since it decided to desegregate the schools in 1954 and seen fit to blame the federal bench for everything that has happened since then that they don't like.
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So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.
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Listen to the people who are talking about how to fix what's wrong, not the ones who just work people into a snit over the problems. Listen to the people who have ideas about how to fix things, not the ones who just blame others.
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It's hard to argue against cynics - they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side.
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The advantage of being able to identify sin is that you can go out and do it, and enjoy it.
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Even I felt sorry for Richard Nixon when he left there's nothing you can do about being born liberal - fish gotta swim and hearts gotta bleed.
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Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don't much care for.
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