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As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.

Molly Ivins

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Molly Ivins
Age: 62 †
Born: 1944
Born: August 30
Died: 2007
Died: January 31
Columnist
Journalist
Writer
Monterey
California
Politics
Screws
Money
Ems
Political
Texas
Around
Belong
Women
Anyway
Take
Vote
Screw
Office
Legislature
Drink
Whiskey

More quotes by Molly Ivins

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Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them.
Molly Ivins
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My friend Mercedes Pena made me get in touch with my emotions just before I had a breast cut off. Just as I suspected, they were awful. How do you Latinas do this all the time in touch with your emotions? I asked her. That's why we take siestas, she replied.
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I'm sorry that government involves filling out a lot of forms. ... I'm sorry myself that we're not still on the frontier, where we could all tote guns, shoot anything that moved and spit to our hearts' content. But we live in a diverse and crowded country, and with civilization comes regulation.
Molly Ivins
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The thing is this: You got to have fun while you're fightin' for freedom, 'cause you don't always win.
Molly Ivins
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One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.
Molly Ivins
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Americans are not getting screwed by the Republican Party. They're getting screwed by the large corporations that bought and own the Republican Party.
Molly Ivins
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I think of Texas as the laboratory for bad government.
Molly Ivins
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Manners are just a formal expression of how you treat people.
Molly Ivins
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Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don't much care for.
Molly Ivins
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And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me.
Molly Ivins
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The advantage of being able to identify sin is that you can go out and do it, and enjoy it.
Molly Ivins
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I think most of us become nicer as we get older, less judgmental, less full of certitude life tends to knock a few corners of us as we go through. Cancer, divorce, teenagers, and other plagues make us give up on expecting ourselves - or life - to be perfect, which is a real relief.
Molly Ivins
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I know: Guns Don't Kill People. But I suspect that they have something to do with it. If you point your finger at someone and say, Bang, bang, you're dead, not much actually happens.
Molly Ivins
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Sometimes I think Texas exists as a reality check for those who might wander too far toward the precious.
Molly Ivins
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Sit up, join up, get on line, get in touch, find out who's raising hell and join them. No use waiting on a bunch of wussy politicians.
Molly Ivins
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Every two years, one of the most hotly contested elections in Texas is the poll taken among members of the capitol press corps to determine who are actually the ten stupidest members of the Legislature. Two years ago, there were thirty-seven official nominees and several write-ins.
Molly Ivins
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I still believe in Hope - mostly because there's no such place as Fingers Crossed, Arkansas.
Molly Ivins
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Conservatives have been mad at the Supreme Court since it decided to desegregate the schools in 1954 and seen fit to blame the federal bench for everything that has happened since then that they don't like.
Molly Ivins
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In city rooms and in the bars where newspeople drink, you can find out what's going on. You can't find it in the papers.
Molly Ivins
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As I have pointed out time and again, it's a hell of a lot cheaper to send little kids to school than it is to let them grow up into young thugs who have to be sent to prison, not to mention the savings in the wear and tear on the nerves, property, and safety of the rest of the citizenry.
Molly Ivins