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As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.

Molly Ivins

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Molly Ivins
Age: 62 †
Born: 1944
Born: August 30
Died: 2007
Died: January 31
Columnist
Journalist
Writer
Monterey
California
Politics
Screws
Money
Ems
Political
Texas
Around
Belong
Women
Anyway
Take
Vote
Screw
Office
Legislature
Drink
Whiskey

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Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them.
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Behind a smoke screen of high-profile female appointees and soothing slogans, George W. Bush is waging war on women.
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It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.
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Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don't much care for.
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If you ever get to the place where injustice doesn't bother you, you're dead.
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I know vegetarians don't like to hear this, but God made an awful lot of land that's good for nothing but grazing.
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Many a time freedom has been rolled back - and always for the same sorry reason: fear.
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...you could have knocked me over with Michael Huffington's brain.
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What stuns me most about contemporary politics is not even that the system has been so badly corrupted by money. It is that so few people get the connection between their lives and what the bozos do in Washington and our state capitols.
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I think provincialism is an endemic characteristic with mankind, I think everybody everywhere is provincial, but it is particularly striking with Texans, and we tend to be very Texcentric.
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I'm sorry that government involves filling out a lot of forms. ... I'm sorry myself that we're not still on the frontier, where we could all tote guns, shoot anything that moved and spit to our hearts' content. But we live in a diverse and crowded country, and with civilization comes regulation.
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Listen to the people who are talking about how to fix what's wrong, not the ones who just work people into a snit over the problems. Listen to the people who have ideas about how to fix things, not the ones who just blame others.
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It's hard to argue against cynics - they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side.
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Even I felt sorry for Richard Nixon when he left there's nothing you can do about being born liberal - fish gotta swim and hearts gotta bleed.
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One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.
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The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.
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Texas is not a civilized place. Texans shoot one another a lot. They also knife, razor, and stomp one another to death with some frequency. And they fight in bars all the time.
Molly Ivins
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It's hard to convince people that you're killing them for their own good.
Molly Ivins
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When Michael Jackson, a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich, white woman, married Elvis Presley's daughter the Scientologist. Makes you proud to be an American, dudn't it?
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It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.
Molly Ivins