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Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant - it tends to get worse.

Molly Ivins

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Molly Ivins
Age: 62 †
Born: 1944
Born: August 30
Died: 2007
Died: January 31
Columnist
Journalist
Writer
Monterey
California
Pregnancy
Tends
Slightly
Pregnant
Worse
Like
Paranoid

More quotes by Molly Ivins

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I'm sorry that government involves filling out a lot of forms. ... I'm sorry myself that we're not still on the frontier, where we could all tote guns, shoot anything that moved and spit to our hearts' content. But we live in a diverse and crowded country, and with civilization comes regulation.
Molly Ivins
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no one has ever accused Texas of being in the vanguard of social progress. This is the most macho state in the U.S. of A. By lore, legend, and fact, Texas is 'hell' on women and horses.
Molly Ivins
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When Michael Jackson, a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich, white woman, married Elvis Presley's daughter the Scientologist. Makes you proud to be an American, dudn't it?
Molly Ivins
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Of course, it has never paid much.
Molly Ivins
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As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.
Molly Ivins
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We've had trickle down economics in the country for ten years now, and most of us aren't even damp yet.
Molly Ivins
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On a personal note: I have contracted an outstanding case of breast cancer, from which I intend to recover. I don't need get-well cards, but I would like the beloved women readers to do something for me: Go. Get. The. Damn. Mammogram. Done.
Molly Ivins
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It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.
Molly Ivins
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Conservatives are fond of pointing out there are problems in this world can't be solved by throwing money at them. There are even more that can't be solved by dropping bombs on them.
Molly Ivins
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The advantage of being able to identify sin is that you can go out and do it, and enjoy it.
Molly Ivins
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Behind a smoke screen of high-profile female appointees and soothing slogans, George W. Bush is waging war on women.
Molly Ivins
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I used to go on college campuses 25 years ago and announce I was a feminist, and people thought it meant I believed in free love and was available for a quick hop in the sack. ... Now I go on college campuses and say I'm a feminist, and half of them think it means I'm a lesbian. How'd we get from there to here without passing Go?
Molly Ivins
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Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences.
Molly Ivins
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Most of us think of government as them. Yet government isn't Them: It's us.
Molly Ivins
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The thing is this: You got to have fun while you're fightin' for freedom, 'cause you don't always win.
Molly Ivins
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One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.
Molly Ivins
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I think most of us become nicer as we get older, less judgmental, less full of certitude life tends to knock a few corners of us as we go through. Cancer, divorce, teenagers, and other plagues make us give up on expecting ourselves - or life - to be perfect, which is a real relief.
Molly Ivins
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Sit up, join up, get on line, get in touch, find out who's raising hell and join them. No use waiting on a bunch of wussy politicians.
Molly Ivins
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Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.
Molly Ivins
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Conservatives have been mad at the Supreme Court since it decided to desegregate the schools in 1954 and seen fit to blame the federal bench for everything that has happened since then that they don't like.
Molly Ivins