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Sometimes I get really lonely. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee.

Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg
Age: 37 †
Born: 1968
Born: February 24
Died: 2005
Died: March 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
St Paul
Minnesota
Mitchell Lee Hedberg
Mitch Lee Hedberg
Mitchell Hedberg
Throwing
Lonely
Especially
Humor
Funny
Sometimes
Really
Frisbee

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I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.
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I got my hair highlighted because I felt some strands were more important than others.
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I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with 555.
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I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.
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I tried to have a cookie, and this girl said, I'm mailing those cookies to my friend. So I couldn't have one. You shouldn't make cookies untouchable.
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I met the girl who works at the Doubletree front desk, she gave me her number. It's ZERO. I tried to call from here, some other woman answered. You sound older!
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Mitch”, but then reattach it and call it “Mitch-all-together.
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My sister Wendy has a husband and two children, and they have a family photo on top of the VCR, where they're all looking slightly to the left. As though something is going on over there! I guess something happened over to the left that made everybody happy! Except my sister is cross-eyed, so she can't quite pull it off. One eye is right-on.
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The commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper says it tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper. Well, then they screwed up!
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