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I did a radio interview the DJ's first question was Who are you? I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station?

Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg
Age: 37 †
Born: 1968
Born: February 24
Died: 2005
Died: March 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
St Paul
Minnesota
Mitchell Lee Hedberg
Mitch Lee Hedberg
Mitchell Hedberg
Really
Deep
Think
Humor
Thinking
Question
Interview
Guy
Station
Wrong
Stations
Funny
Interviews
Firsts
Drive
First
Radio

More quotes by Mitch Hedberg

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Pepperidge Farm bread. That's fancy bread. You can tell it's fancy because it's wrapped twice. You open it, and it still isn't open. That's why I don't buy it. I don't need another step between me and toast.
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When you put Listerine in your mouth, it hurts. Germs do not go quietly.
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I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.
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Earlier I`ve done hatever I could get my hands on to do for a living. I tried a couple of different things, but kitchen work was the best for me, because I took to a nomadic lifestyle before I started doing comedy. If you travel and get to a town and need a job, restaurants are always there.
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I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said, I'll just get a tan instead.
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I heard a guy tell me he liked cherries. I waited to hear if he was going to say tomatoes, then I realized he like cherries just. That joke is ridiculous.
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I would not want to be a mobile home repo man. Those would be hard to sneak away - Knock knock - Hi, would you go cut your grass and look that way for a half an hour?
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I want to be a rebellious McDonald's owner. Cheeseburgers... NOPE... we got spaghetti!
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A lot of bands have intense names, like Rigor Mortis or Mortuary. We weren't that intense, we called ourselves Injured. Later on we changed it to Acapella when we were walking out of the pawn shop.
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I ate one anchovy, and that is why I did not eat two anchovies.
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I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, Dude, you have to wait.
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Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.
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If you're a fish and you want to be a fish-stick, you have to have very good posture.
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I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work'.
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My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen.
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2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.
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Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
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How does a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's magical. There must be some sesame seed glue out there. Either that or they're adhesive on one side. Peel off the backing, place it on the bun.
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