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I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwiches? All-encompassingly.
Mitch Hedberg
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Mitch Hedberg
Age: 37 †
Born: 1968
Born: February 24
Died: 2005
Died: March 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
St Paul
Minnesota
Mitchell Lee Hedberg
Mitch Lee Hedberg
Mitchell Hedberg
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Word
Submarine
Funny
Mitch
Use
Submarines
Change
Sandwiches
Need
Totally
Different
Meaning
Needs
Humor
Much
Comedy
More quotes by Mitch Hedberg
If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a non-alcoholic.
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I have no problem not listening to the Temptations.
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A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
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I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.
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I travel with a boom box. When I get on a plane, I stuff the power cord for the boom box into the battery compartment. From an outsider's point of view, it looks like I've got it all wrong.
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If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.
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A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human.
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Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. Tom's gone! Is he a magician? No. Then let's print up some flyers!
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I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.
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I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.
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A snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.
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Mitch”, but then reattach it and call it “Mitch-all-together.
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I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work'.
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I ate one anchovy, and that is why I did not eat two anchovies.
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I like baked potatoes. I don't have a microwave oven, and it takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows?
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I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
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One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes.
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I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.
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When you open the elevator on the top floor of a building and the other guy doesn't get out, something is seriously wrong.
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Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?
Mitch Hedberg
