Quote

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg
Age: 37 †
Born: 1968
Born: February 24
Died: 2005
Died: March 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
St Paul
Minnesota
Mitchell Lee Hedberg
Mitch Lee Hedberg
Mitchell Hedberg
Comedy
Waffles
Funny
Syrup
Like
Pancakes
Trap
Traps
Witty
Humorous
Waffle
Laughter
Pancake

More quotes by Mitch Hedberg

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I went to a tent store. What kind of tent do you need? Circus.
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You know crazy straws - they go all over the place? These straws are sane. They never lost their mind. They say, we're going straight to the mouth. That guy who takes a while to get there? He's crazy.
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I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.
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My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen.
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I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It’s a strange piece of machinery . . . We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And I’ll be damned if I’m not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort.
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People ask me for my autograph after a show. I'm not famous, I think they're messing with me. I think they're trying to make me late for something.
Mitch Hedberg
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Earlier I`ve done hatever I could get my hands on to do for a living. I tried a couple of different things, but kitchen work was the best for me, because I took to a nomadic lifestyle before I started doing comedy. If you travel and get to a town and need a job, restaurants are always there.
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I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.
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I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said, I'll just get a tan instead.
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I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
Mitch Hedberg
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I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.
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I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
Mitch Hedberg
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Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, I can't knit, get this away from me!
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I got a smoke alarm at home, but really it's more like a 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.
Mitch Hedberg
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I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!
Mitch Hedberg
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a non-alcoholic.
Mitch Hedberg
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I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
Mitch Hedberg
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Snake eyes is a gambling term, and an animal term, too.
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If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
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Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can. Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash? Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with documents!
Mitch Hedberg