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In my paranoid world every storekeeper thinks I’m stealing, every man thinks I’m a prostitute or a lesbian, every woman thinks I’m a lesbian or arrogant, and every child and animal sees the real me and it is evil.

Miranda July

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Miranda July
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: February 15
Actor
Artist
Film Actor
Film Director
Musician
Screenwriter
Writer
Barre
Vermont
Miranda J. Grossinger
World
Child
Prostitute
Evil
Lesbian
Woman
Paranoid
Children
Arrogant
Real
Stealing
Every
Sees
Men
Thinks
Thinking
Animal
Storekeeper

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Maybe that's why people take pictures of themselves, to avoid being described.
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She bludgeoned me with a look of such limitless compassion that I immediately began to cry.
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And why had Deb's last boyfriend dumped her? I dumped him. Maybe you didn't French-kiss him enough. I promise you that wasn't it. Tell me how many times a day you kissed, and I'll say if it was enough. Four hundred. Not enough.
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When I was very little, I probably wanted to be more normal. I probably wanted the Laura Ashley bedroom, and instead I got thrift-store everything.
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I knew the beginning and the end – I just had to dream up a convincing middle.
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In the weeks that followed, we amazed ourselves. Our habits slid apart easily...And our very few intimacies were simply discontinued. Where did they go, those things we did? Were they recycled? Did some new couple in China do them? Were a Swedish man and woman foot to foot at this very moment?
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I think because I write so many short stories, it's not that hard to come up with characters that are not me.
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There was nothing in this world that was not a con, suddenly I understood this. Nothing really mattered, and nothing could be lost.
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If you were wise enough to know that this life would consist mostly of letting go of things you wanted, then why not get good at the letting go, rather than the trying to have?
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I spend a lot of time obsessing about getting a dignified eight hours' sleep.
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If you want to have a character who falls into crisis, all you have to do is turn the Internet off, and then we all understand how that feels, when you suddenly just have time and yourself.
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It was a small thing, but it was a thing, and things have a way of either dying or growing, and it wasn’t dying.
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There's always the sense that you should strike while the iron's hot and while there are all these opportunities, but that's not the way I get ideas. It has to be more organic, building up through living and through experiencing things.
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I looked out the window for other passengers in love with their drivers, but we were well disguised, we pretended boredom and prayed for traffic.
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Don't wait to be sure. Move, move, move.
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My ideal life is just lounging around the house and every once in a while I'll kind of write something, and then I'll leave and eat something and masturbate or whatever - just this very fluid life of comforting myself.
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This person realizes that staying home means blowing off everyone this person has ever known. But the desire to stay in is very strong. This person wants to run a bath and then read in bed.
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Sometimes I lie in bed trying to decide which of my friends I truly care about, and I always come to the same conclusion: none of them. I thought these were just my starter friends and the real ones would come along later. But no. These are my real friends.
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Did you ever really love her? Not really no. But me? Yes. Even though I have no pizzazz?
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I'm totally not kidding. Life is too short. This is all too hard to do to actually be kidding about the whole thing.
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