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I recommend Avon Skin-So-Soft. It’s a bath product. It smells like someone fed a Disney Princess through a juicer, but it works better than anything else on the market.

Mira Grant

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More quotes by Mira Grant

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We were the ones on scene when everything went down. We weren't better. We weren't worse. We were just the ones standing in the blast radius.
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There is a list of things Im not allowed to discuss at the dinner table! I am extraordinarily passionate about the Black Death, which is not something most people are into.
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Sometimes you need lies to stay alive.
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That's the beauty of the future. We get to change it.
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You know, addressing my crazy by name doesn’t exactly help me stay sane,” I said. “Nothing can help you stay sane at this point, Mason,” said Becks. “That ship has sailed.
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I’m also fascinated by the difference between terror and fear. Fear says, “Do not actually put your hand in the alligator,” while terror says, “Avoid Florida entirely because alligators exist.
Mira Grant
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Think about that for a moment. They died for you. Now take a good look at the life you're living and tell me: Did they do the right thing?
Mira Grant
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When you're late in a fairy tale, people wind up dead. And not true-love's-kiss, glass-coffin-nap-time dead. Really dead, the kind of dead you don't recover from.
Mira Grant
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When you're going to play with dead things, do it during the daylight.
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I've done tangos with men who thought my ass was a squeaky toy.
Mira Grant
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His idea of traffic safety is going too fast for the cops to catch up.
Mira Grant
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Past experience told me he could smell my fear it also told me that the anger accompanying it would pretty much cover the scent. It's good to know how to compensate for your own weaknesses.
Mira Grant
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And to those who would choose the safety of inaction over the danger of taking a stand, I have this to say: You bloody cowards. May you have the world that you deserve.
Mira Grant
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Life as the chosen religious figure for a colony of cryptid mice can be a lot of things, but it's definitely never boring.
Mira Grant
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I’m a cat. We aren’t required to make sense.
Mira Grant
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When Rome burned, the emperor's cats still expected to be fed on time.
Mira Grant
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There weren’t any fairy tales in the streets around me. If there was ever a Cinderella, her glass slippers shattered under her weight and she limped home bleeding from the ball.
Mira Grant
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I am, in fact, immortal when annoyed.
Mira Grant
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...If there’s a God, there are plenty of people who know where he is.” I shrugged, still watching the sky. ... “I just want to know that he’s there, so that I can die knowing there’s going to be someone I can punch in the mouth on the other end.
Mira Grant
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You can't win. Logic has no power over her when her territory has been invaded by heathens.
Mira Grant