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If it weren't for my imagination, I would weigh ten thousand pounds. This is because the only way I am able to exercise anymore is through a long and vivid revenge fantasy.

Mindy Kaling

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Mindy Kaling
Age: 45
Born: 1979
Born: June 24
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Vera Mindy Chokalingam
Imagination
Pounds
Able
Revenge
Long
Weren
Way
Ten
Would
Anymore
Fantasy
Exercise
Weigh
Thousand
Vivid

More quotes by Mindy Kaling

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I had these kind of unrealistic expectations that were fueled by romantic comedies, and it has both helped me and hurt me in many ways. It helped me because, in general, they've made me hopeful. I just figure things will eventually work out for me. But nobody is like any Tom Hanks character. Nobody is Hugh Grant. No one is Meg Ryan!
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People seem to be having these awesome sex lives and I'm just trying to find a life partner to go apple picking with. What's wrong with me?
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I don't want to be skinny. I'm constantly in a state of self-improvement but I don't beat myself up over it.
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When you're East Coast person, you are so insufferable, and you have no idea. And I was. One, because I was miserable, and nobody liked to be around a miserable person, and two, everything that I thought was so profound, everyone had already dealt with.
Mindy Kaling
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It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it.
Mindy Kaling
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Growing up, I remember my parents feeling a little wary of 'The Simpsons.' This was the late eighties, and there was a wave of articles about TV shows that were bad for America. Then we all started watching it and loved it.
Mindy Kaling
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Sometimes I eavesdrop on people. I could rationalize it - oh, this is good anthropological research for characters I'm writing - but it's basically just nosiness. It also helps me gauge where I'm at: Am I normal?
Mindy Kaling
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I regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world operates according to different rules than my regular human world.
Mindy Kaling
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I stupidly memorize my credit card and use it about thrice weekly for online shopping. The only reason I don't bankrupt myself is that I return about 75% of what I buy.
Mindy Kaling
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I was obsessed with being popular when I was in high school and never achieved it. There's photos from our high school musicals and things, and I'm comically in the deep background, wearing a beggar's costume.
Mindy Kaling
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Bribes and boy bands. That’s all you need to be a babysitter.
Mindy Kaling
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The way that TV is set up is very helpful for when a show comes to an end because as an actor, you've got acting, but as a showrunner you still get to edit for three months and after that ends you get to do a sound mix. So, as a writer-performer in television, it's a very nurturing, gradual environment to say goodbye to a show.
Mindy Kaling
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Why didn’t you talk about whether women are funny or not? I just felt that by commenting on that in any real way, it would be tacit approval of it as a legitimate debate, which it isn’t.
Mindy Kaling
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The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities.
Mindy Kaling
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I'm an actor and a writer and a showrunner and I edit my show. ... I have a job that three people usually have, and I have it in one person. And the idea that the critic thought that I had this excess of time for which I could go to, like, panels or write essays was just so laughable to me.
Mindy Kaling
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Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.
Mindy Kaling
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Sometimes I aid into the confusion by having my character's name be my name.
Mindy Kaling
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I kind of killed it in college. You know that saying big fish in a small pond? At Dartmouth college, I was freakin' Jaws in a community swimming pool
Mindy Kaling
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If I gave my mother a knitted scarf she'd be worried I was wasting my time doing stupid stuff like knitting instead of school work. Presenting a homemade knitted object to my parents was actually like handing them a detailed backlog of my idleness.
Mindy Kaling
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This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It’s mostly pink. If you’re reading this book every night for months, something is not right.
Mindy Kaling