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It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it.

Mindy Kaling

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Mindy Kaling
Age: 45
Born: 1979
Born: June 24
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Vera Mindy Chokalingam
Someone
Jail
Ever
Famous
Great
Murder
Even
Totally
Never
Serve
Time
Obvious
Fame
Everyone

More quotes by Mindy Kaling

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I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition it’s a choice. You choose not to make learning people’s names a priority. It’s like saying, “Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.
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I write a little bit about what it's like to be a female boss in my book [ Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?] and the things I've noticed about that, but by and large, it's just a tough job in general.
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I really love Bridget Jones's Diary - and I love the book, too. You wonder how it ever got made into a movie. She's supposed to be chubby, and two of the hottest guys ever are straight-up fighting over her?
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I would rather have someone read my diary than look at my iPod playlists.
Mindy Kaling
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I’m the one who looks at the infant, smiles nervously, and as my contribution to small talk, robotically announces to the parent, “Your child looks healthy and well cared for.
Mindy Kaling
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There are many teenage vampire books you could have purchased instead. I'm grateful you made this choice.
Mindy Kaling
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Couples are really funny, because if they are together, they can fight and do fun things together. In Jane Austen books, marriage is the end of the story, but I actually think a really funny couple could be a fun thing to watch.
Mindy Kaling
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For heaven’s sake, if you don’t know someone’s name, just pretend you do. Do that thing everyone else does, where you vaguely say, “Nice to see you!” and make weak eye contact.
Mindy Kaling
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Is this a generation of orphans who are going to the improv to do stand-up?
Mindy Kaling
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Of course, everyone wants to be mythologized in a great way.
Mindy Kaling
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A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds.
Mindy Kaling
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I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. A nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors.
Mindy Kaling
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I fall into that nebulous, quote-unquote, normal American woman size that legions of fashion stylists detest. For the record, I'm a size 8 - this week, anyway. Many stylists hate that size because I think to them, it shows that I lack the discipline to be an ascetic or the confident, sassy abandon to be a total fatty hedonist.
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Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered
Mindy Kaling
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Growing up, I remember my parents feeling a little wary of 'The Simpsons.' This was the late eighties, and there was a wave of articles about TV shows that were bad for America. Then we all started watching it and loved it.
Mindy Kaling
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Because confidence is like respect you have to earn it.
Mindy Kaling
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What? I have a cold. Don’t get a look of terror on your face. The worst that could happen is that you’ll get a cold, too. You don’t have to theatrically Purell a thousand times a day and look all panicky every time I come into the room.
Mindy Kaling
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In my mind, the sexiest thing in the world is the feeling that you’re wanted.
Mindy Kaling
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I'm not overweight. I flucuate between chubby and curvy.
Mindy Kaling
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I have a personality defect where I refuse to see myself as an underdog.
Mindy Kaling