Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My grandfather invented the cold air balloon... But it never really took off.
Milton Jones
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Milton Jones
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 16
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Milton Hywel Jones
Never
Grandfather
Invented
Air
Took
Humor
Cold
Funny
Balloon
Really
Balloons
More quotes by Milton Jones
I recently bought the box set of 'Doctor Who' and watched it back to back, Unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the TV!
Milton Jones
You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.
Milton Jones
About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard - after that he went downhill very quickly.
Milton Jones
As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.
Milton Jones
I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.
Milton Jones
I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying I don't want to bore you with the details.
Milton Jones
I'm very English really. I even ordered a book on the internet, 'how to have absolutely nothing to do with your neighbors'. Unfortunately I was out when it was delivered.
Milton Jones
I have a nut allergy. When I was at school the other children used to make me play Russian roulette but force-feeding me a packet of Revels.
Milton Jones
If you're depressed and called Morgan spend the first half of the day in Germany for some positive affirmation.
Milton Jones
The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.
Milton Jones
Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.
Milton Jones
The pollen count, now that's a difficult job. Especially if you've got hay fever.
Milton Jones
Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.
Milton Jones
I've got a bit of Scottish Blood... On my kitchen knife!!
Milton Jones
I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I said, it's because I'm black, isn't it.
Milton Jones
To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.
Milton Jones
I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.
Milton Jones
I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.
Milton Jones
A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!
Milton Jones
My wife... its difficult to say what she does... she sells seashells on the seashore.
Milton Jones