Quote

A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Make
Asking
Rushes
Men
Streets
Crossing
Comfortable
Crossings
Answers
Lap
Head
Cradle
Nice
Hills
Woman
Street
Cradles
Living
Car
Beverly

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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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