Quote

A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Woman
Street
Cradles
Living
Car
Beverly
Make
Asking
Rushes
Men
Streets
Crossing
Comfortable
Crossings
Answers
Lap
Head
Cradle
Nice
Hills

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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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