Quote

I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Jokes
Molly
Personal
Insults
Hope
Fred
Tell
Allen
Mind
Insulting
Burns
Bob
Insult
Trevor

More quotes by Milton Berle

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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
Milton Berle
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Milton Berle
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
Milton Berle
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton Berle
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
Milton Berle
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
Milton Berle