Quote

I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Like
Middleman
Middlemen
Fred
Allen
Think
Thinking

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
Image
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Milton Berle
Image
I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
Milton Berle
Image
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
Image
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
Image
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
Milton Berle
Image
I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
Milton Berle
Image
I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Milton Berle
Image
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
Image
Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
Milton Berle
Image
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
Image
It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
Image
For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
Image
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
Image
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle
Image
One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
Milton Berle
Image
My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
Milton Berle
Image
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
Image
I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Milton Berle