Quote

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Somebody
Stairs
Asks
Falls
Fall
Flight
Every
Miss
Men
Step
Missing
Steps
Answers
Rushes

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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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