Quote

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Somebody
Stairs
Asks
Falls
Fall
Flight
Every
Miss
Men
Step
Missing
Steps
Answers
Rushes

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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle