Quote

You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Person
Find
Look
Looks
Like
Normal
Wants
Persons

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle
Image
I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
Milton Berle
Image
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
Image
Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
Milton Berle
Image
This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
Image
It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
Image
There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
Milton Berle
Image
My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
Milton Berle
Image
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle
Image
I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
Milton Berle
Image
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
Image
War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
Milton Berle
Image
I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
Image
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
Image
For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
Milton Berle
Image
My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
Image
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Milton Berle
Image
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle