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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Sleep
Working
Dream
Dreams
Afraid
Brother
More quotes by Milton Berle
They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
Milton Berle
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
