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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Remember
Guys
Together
Subjects
Back
Says
Time
High
Guy
Living
Bonanza
Three
Controversial
Didn
Heels

More quotes by Milton Berle

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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
Milton Berle
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Milton Berle
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
Milton Berle
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
Milton Berle
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
Milton Berle
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
Milton Berle
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
Milton Berle
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
Milton Berle
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
Milton Berle
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle