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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Back
Says
Time
High
Guy
Living
Bonanza
Three
Controversial
Didn
Heels
Remember
Guys
Together
Subjects
More quotes by Milton Berle
In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
Milton Berle
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
Milton Berle
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
Milton Berle
I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
Milton Berle
Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
Milton Berle
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
Milton Berle
You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
Milton Berle
For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle
I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
Milton Berle
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
