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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Creak
Louder
Aging
Actions
Words
Action

More quotes by Milton Berle

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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
Milton Berle
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle