Quote

My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.

Milton Berle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Life
Mines
Mine
Marriage
Wife
Understanding
Perfect
Running
Trying

More quotes by Milton Berle

Image
Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle
Image
For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
Milton Berle
Image
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
Image
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
Image
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
Image
In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
Milton Berle
Image
Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
Milton Berle
Image
I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
Milton Berle
Image
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
Image
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle
Image
I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
Milton Berle
Image
I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
Milton Berle
Image
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle
Image
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
Image
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
Image
One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
Milton Berle
Image
My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
Image
You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
Milton Berle