Quote

My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Marriage
Wife
Understanding
Perfect
Running
Trying
Life
Mines
Mine

More quotes by Milton Berle

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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
Milton Berle
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
Milton Berle
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
Milton Berle
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
Milton Berle
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
Milton Berle
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
Milton Berle
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
Milton Berle
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle