Quote

My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Marriage
Wife
Understanding
Perfect
Running
Trying
Life
Mines
Mine

More quotes by Milton Berle

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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
Milton Berle