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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Terrific
Winter
Sex
Especially
Four
Eighty
More quotes by Milton Berle
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
Milton Berle