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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Terrific
Winter
Sex
Especially
Four
Eighty

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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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