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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Terrific
Winter
Sex
Especially
Four
Eighty

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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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