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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Took
Side
Sides
Woman
Ever
Men
Realise
Realising

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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
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