Quote

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Streets
Doors
Opportunity
Doesn
Knock
Long
Visible
Street
Door
Build

More quotes by Milton Berle

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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
Milton Berle
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
Milton Berle
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
Milton Berle
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
Milton Berle
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
Milton Berle
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Milton Berle
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle