Quote

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Opportunity
Doesn
Knock
Long
Visible
Street
Door
Build
Streets
Doors

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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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