Quote

Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Money
Look
Looks
Helps
Prosperity
Places
Happiness
Helping

More quotes by Milton Berle

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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
Milton Berle
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
Milton Berle
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
Milton Berle
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
Milton Berle
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
Milton Berle
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
Milton Berle
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Milton Berle
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
Milton Berle
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle