Quote

Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Look
Looks
Helps
Prosperity
Places
Happiness
Helping
Money

More quotes by Milton Berle

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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
Milton Berle
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
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I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Milton Berle
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
Milton Berle
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
Milton Berle
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
Milton Berle