Quote

Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Places
Happiness
Helping
Money
Look
Looks
Helps
Prosperity

More quotes by Milton Berle

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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
Milton Berle
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Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
Milton Berle
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
Milton Berle
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This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
Milton Berle
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
Milton Berle
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Milton Berle
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Milton Berle
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle