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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Miss
Bayonet
Case
Bayonets
Missing
Rocket
Cases
Rockets
War
Attached
Toys
Christmas
Scary
Launcher
More quotes by Milton Berle
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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One of those Christmas songs says, You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout. How's my wife going to get along?
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