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War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Case
Bayonets
Missing
Rocket
Cases
Rockets
War
Attached
Toys
Christmas
Scary
Launcher
Miss
Bayonet
More quotes by Milton Berle
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle
I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Milton Berle
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
