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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Christmas
Ones
Tree
Tell
Hard
Real
Aluminum
Plastic
Trees

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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
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I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
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Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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