Quote

There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Lists
Christmas
Son
Money
Things
List

More quotes by Milton Berle

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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
Milton Berle
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
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I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
Milton Berle
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In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Milton Berle
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
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My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Milton Berle
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I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
Milton Berle
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Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
Milton Berle
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
Milton Berle
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
Milton Berle
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle