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There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Money
Things
List
Lists
Christmas
Son

More quotes by Milton Berle

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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
Milton Berle
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One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.
Milton Berle
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
Milton Berle
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
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I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
Milton Berle
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Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together
Milton Berle
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Milton Berle
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
Milton Berle
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
Milton Berle
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Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Milton Berle
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I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
Milton Berle
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
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Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Milton Berle
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle